--- title: Why We Must Move Past Disagreements description: "As a child and adolescent advocate committed to strengthening families as the foundation of resilience, I often hear parents say: “Lately, it seems my teen and I can’t agree on anything.” Or teens share: “My parents shut me down when I express my views.”" image: https://blog.jewishphilly.org/hubfs/facebook-event-cover-1920x1080%20(6)-Jul-02-2026-12-55-18-7861-PM.jpg --- [![Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia](https://blog.jewishphilly.org/hubfs/JewishFederation_May2019/images/logo--color.svg)](https://jewishphilly.org/) - [Philly Stands With Israel](https://go.jewishphilly.org/philly-stands-with-israel) - - [Donate to Philly Stands with Israel Fund](https://donate.jewishphilly.org/page/66252/donate/1) - [Community Resources](https://jewishphilly.org/philly-stands-with-israel-resources/) - [Emergency Allocations](https://jewishphilly.org/ways-to-give/donate-emergency-response-fund/emergency-allocations/) - - [Advocate](https://jewishphilly.org/philly-stands-with-israel-resources/advocate/) - 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But the solution begins at home. We must elevate the sanctity of our relationships above disagreements. The good news is we don’t need to solve the world’s problems to protect our families — we only need to commit to preserving our love for one another.   Raise your children to know they are valued and loved unconditionally. Reinforce the centrality of family as a safe haven from the outside world. These roots — love, unconditional acceptance and home as refuge — form the basis of lifelong resilience and enduring relationships.   It is not only possible but essential to disagree respectfully while preserving cohesion. If we stand together even as we disagree, our families can emerge stronger.   **Draw from what we know** One benefit of being an ancient people is perspective: we’ve been here before. We can draw from timeless Jewish values to guide us through challenging moments.   **Build shalom bayit — peace at home ** As the world grows overwhelming, double down on family. Practice compassion, extend forgiveness and set aside opinions to preserve relationships.   **Honor respectful disagreement** Our tradition is rooted in dialogue. Listening, learning and even debating respectfully is in our DNA. Multiple viewpoints bring wisdom.   **Seek growth**  Jewish learning is endless. We gain from teachers but also from the curiosity of children and the idealism of adolescents.   **Strengths-based parenting** Our homes must remain sanctuaries where cruelty does not seep through the walls and where love withstands disagreement. Try these approaches:   - **Remember why you care.** Disagreement often springs from love. Your child’s passion, stubbornness and fairness — all reasons they frustrate you—are also reasons you adore them.   - **Reject feeling rejected.** Disagreement is not rejection. Defensiveness fuels conflict. Independence is a strength you likely encouraged.   - **Recognize different realities.** Today’s media feeds us personalized, polarizing streams of information. Others may genuinely see a different reality. Guide your children toward varied perspectives without demanding they abandon their own.   - **Redefine a win.** A true victory is not proving your point; it is maintaining the relationship. Preserving peace is strength, not weakness.   **Celebrate independence** We want our children to stand strong in the world. That means developing their own values — even if they challenge ours. Pushing back is part of practicing independence. Though difficult, it is a cause for celebration.   **Protect what matters most** Protecting relationships requires intention. Hear each other out. Respect differences. Draw strength from common ground. Setting aside disagreements does not mean you’ve lost; it means you’ve chosen love over division.   At the end of the day, life is richer when we choose connection over conflict. Our tradition teaches that disagreements are inevitable, but unity is essential. If we can practice compassion and respect at home, we can bring that spirit into our friendships, workplaces and communities. Preserving the bonds of family and community is not weakness but strength, and it reminds us that no difference matters more than our shared humanity and the enduring legacy of love.   Be ready to say to those you love most: “No difference between us matters more than our relationship.”   \*\*\*   This op-ed is connected to a project by the Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia and the Center for Parent and Teen Communication, which aims to equip Jewish teens and families with resilience-building tools rooted in science and Jewish values.   **Ken Ginsburg, MD, MS Ed, FAAP, practices adolescent medicine at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia and is a professor of pediatrics at the University of Pennsylvania Perelman School of Medicine. He is the founding director of the Center for Parent and Teen Communication and has written multiple award-winning books.** To access resources that will offer practical guidance to help families communicate openly, navigate challenges and support healthy adolescent development, [click here](https://jewishphilly.org/resources/strengthening-resilience-in-jewish-teens-and-families/). 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